Doctor Who - The Pirate Planet (1978)
Me hearties, this warms me cockles! The cyborg-captain plunders other worlds in a unique way, then rewards the crew of planet Zanax with enough booty (lol!) than they can stomach beyond the dreams of avarice. Thus is not as it seems, zombie-Mentiads are a blight & a curse. Wait until the Doctor arrives, AAARR ! Sorry, Doctor, Romana attracts more attention to your inquisitive nature than you seem to on this pirate planet!
The Doctor discovers that not only is the Captain using Zanax as a lethal "primitive" version of a TARDIS to dematerialise around unsuspecting planets to absorb them, but he's not in control of the helm of his galactic/planet ship, not to mention his faculties. Why is the nurse, mysterious as she is, spared your constant wrath? Do you fear her & if so, why? Neither are the Mentiads to be feared. That's why you rule Doctor, you're smarter than we are!
AAAAARR, ME HEARTIES! LATEST IN HOD ROD DESIGN! NURSE WHO?
This is soo groovy! Romana, after allowing herself to be captured, explains to The Captain that the Doctor is the main one he should be talking to, "if you've got the stamina." The Doctor deliberately arrives just as the Captains guards are ordered to search for him, a truly hilarious Doc moment!
But, a truly not so funny, yet brilliant brag when the Cyborg-Captain proudly show's -off the mummified remains of the planets he's had a hand in destroying, & the Doctor is expected to "appreciate it?! Just because you've created a toy out of the remains of mummified planets. I mean, what's it all for?!" Beauty in genius! Watch out for this beautiful, angry, Humane speech which the Doctor gives without concern at the Captains temper! He almost gets hit by his cyborg-hand! Gosh, I wonder what the next planet target is? No Brownie points!
Treasure, me hearties! Comes with stunning view K9's foe!
Our mysterious nurse is Queen Xanxia, who should've been dead a hundred years ago, but has found Regenerative powers & Immortality, & time hasn't tempered her flame. As for The Doctor's new allies, the Mentiads, they possess the psychic influence of the Worlds that have been destroyed to avenge them, a noble task that the Doctor appreciates. As lovely as Queen Xanxia is, (in her present form, anyway), the Captain has all the fab lines. Yes, this part, yet again! Some examples I hear you request?
By all the fires of nights, I shall have your bones bleached!
By all the sun that blade's torn apart!
By the moons of madness!! etc, etc, & so forth.
This groovy late 70's Sci-Fi was written by Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy's Douglas Adams, & it shows in it's borderline comedy. K9 gets to battle the aforementioned robot parrot/Polyphase Avatron.
As mentioned, The Doctor doesn't appreciate The Captains World-destroying weapon, & boy, does Zanax (the planet not the evil vixen Queen) have groovy disco flying hot rods worthy of a Bond movie! Speaking of Queen Xanxia, as super-villain's go, she's a bit of a silly. boarding school girl as they come. Why don't you just stomp your feet as the Disco-era brat you are at The Doctor(?!) In fact, take the Doctors not so-well perfect but it'll do, advice on Regeneration/Immortality(?!) Romana is a "mere common space urchin" to the Captain until she proves herself as a time-traveller, obviously he has no taste in Timelords! Jelly babies are forbidden...NOOOOO!!! But........
Guy: "LIFE-FORCE DYING! LIFE-FORCE DYING!"
4th Doc: "Someone's around, anyway."
Classic Tom Baker!! :)
This is the third addition to the Key to Time Story arc. I was SO trying to steer away from this one. But, after a certain wedding between some Prince guy & some Hollywood actress. (I know, sounds too good to be true!) I enjoyed a beautiful Sunday afternoon reaching this in my hotel room, despite Doctor Who - The Daemons (1971) being my first choice. Queen Xanxia is no nice monarch!
No copyright, yada-yadda-etc...
Borgduck aka Stewart,