Doctor Who-Revenge Of The Cybermen (1975)
Right, so we're on a roll with Season 12, Tom Baker having made his debut four stories earlier in 'Robot'. We've got the longest running, memorable regeneration to date. Add to the mix a short lived male assistant in Harry Sullivan & of course, last but not least Sarah-Jane Smith. As you can obviously tell this story features the iconic cyborg baddies Cybermen.
What is most ironic is that this is their first appearance since The Invasion (1968) unless you count their billionth of a second cameo, torture though it is, in 1972's Carnival Of Monsters(?) Then they don't bother to turn up again for another 6 or 7 years until Earthshock (1982), just got fed up of constantly losing? They enjoyed a kind of renaissance in the 80's & the 3rd Doctor finally getting a (televised) face to face encounter in The Five Doctors (1983).
Ring-A-Ring o' rosies/ "A-tishoo! A-tishoo!"/We all fall down. Quite a breakdown of an otherwise innocent sounding poem yet very apt to how this fable begins. It commences in fab psychedelic manner with our three leads spinning, like something out of that ye olde nursery rythme, through the cosmic vortex of Time & Space, minus TARDIS but we'll get to that, later.
Our trio return to Nerva Beacon several Centuries too early, before the events of Ark In Space. It's being used as an interstellar lighthouse ever since a new "satellite" moved into the orbit of Earths Solar System, via Jupiter.
The Doctor, Sarah, & Harry land upon a plague infected space station. Only four (make that three) crew members have survived. Commander Stevenson, .Lester, Warner. Then there's Kellman... When the plague (Ring-A-Ring, etc) first struck he hid in his quarters, too scared to poke his nose out. How "Rimmer-sque" of him. Yet, gold buys Humans & greed is a weakness. We don't waste time in finding out it's obviously Kellman!
Still, whoever he's working for, he's playing this 60's/70's obsession with James Bond spy/espionage stuff with a vengeance. Seriously, The Avengers, Man From Uncle, Mission Impossible, The Saint, etc. Even Sci-Fi (not counting The Avengers?) U.F.O. Guilty as charged for a future date! Star Trek, Dr Who-The Enemy Of The World!
You've gotta love his secret agent gadgets: A brush that slides open to reveal a walkie-talkie, & a fancy Arial, & how does he booby-trap his quarters for The Doctor to get trapped in?! Kellman, (bless him) he's got a lot to hide. The Doctor asks of him, "Who's the homocidial maniac?". Sue me, he reminds me of the school "squot", just invented a word there. Does that put me up there with Shakespeare? Answer : Hey nonny-nonny NO!
So, Kellman, a double. triple agent? Who for?
Okaly, Kellman reminded me of someone that I didn't get along with at school, & Kellman is just as irritable to the three surviving crew of Nerva Beacon. As Commander Stevenson points out to Lester, after being insulted, "I've lost almost 50 crewmen, good friends among them. & yet a thing like that survives!", probably for a reason. The scene where The Doctor meets Kellman for the first time is hilarious as quoted below.
Having conveniently disposed of the medical staff of Nerva Beacon with his plague first was tactical & very oh, so not nice on his part. We'll get back to this "plague" in a moment. Kellman immediately feels threatened by our hero & demands their execution on medicinal grounds. The Doctor retorts, "Who's the homicidal maniac?".
Phobos is the Earth name given to the mysterious satellite now orbiting Jupiter for some 50 years. But, in actual fact it is what remains of the Vogon's home-world after being a victim of the Cybermens wrath. This is where we get the continuity that gold is lethal to Cybermen & it continues into the Matt Smith era. The Vogon's are a bit of a schizoid-paranoid race. Thanks to the Cybermen they have a xenophobic mistrust of other species. Vorus seems to have other, radical views. Kellman was originally hired by Vorus?! How the smeg did he convince the Cybermen to hire him?! You can at least rely on his lust for gold. Vorus has a fancy rocket that sounds like something out of a Gerry Anderson children's production. Yes, ............The (drumrolls) SKYSTRICKER! TA-DAAA!
Speaking of which, the Vogon's themselves, as mentioned elsewhere, look like they came from a Gerry Anderson brats show. Not that that bothers meself. I think that it's fab that they're not your typical "Human-looking" Humanoids! A civil-war breaks out between Vorus' factions & their leader Tyrum for breaking their introvert rules by making contact with Kellman to attract the Cybermen to his precious rocket. Y'know, this plot really doesn't make sense in the grand scheme of things!
Sarah-Jane verbally defends our hero, "If The Doctor senses a rat he'll catch one!". The Doctor exposes Kellman for the rat he is, & his romote-controlled Cybermat. Yes, great metaphor for plague: rats/Cybermats. No love?
The scene where Kellman retorts to Commander Stevensons threat interrogation is hilarious, reminds me of...well, yes, that guy from school. The Doctor's bluff via reprogrammed Cybermat is more convincing & suddenly Kellman is screaming soprano!
These Cybermen belong in a Disco, bellbottoms & all. This starts the Cybermen with neurotic tendencies. They're supposed to be emotionless cyborgs! Hands on hips?? Strip dance for Sarah next?! They might as well shake their booty! Yet, here begins the quick to temper neurotic versions. I get the feeling Holmes & Hinchcliffe hated doing a Cyberman story & saw them as nothing more than "pathetic tin-soldiers skulking about the galaxy in an ancient spaceship!". They do not subscribe to theories of morality in war, no Geneva Convention, then. They're just angry robots here!
There's a great showdown between The Doctor & the Cyber-Leader. We get a picture of some history of the Cyber war. Humanity triumphed over these supposed destined rulers of all the Cosmos, after discovering Cybermen also have a weakness for gold, a fatal one. The Doctor rubs this fact into the neurotic Cyber-Leader. Someone get this emotional, alleged Cyborg a hankie, in fact get me one for being in hysterics! Lines like "hydrolic brains" & the "pathetic bunch of tin soldiers" one are gems!
Meanwhile poor Sarah gets attacked by Kellmans pet Cybermat & recieves a dose of the Cybermens "rat poison" the same that wiped out most of the Beacon crew. Seriously, Kellman. I'm with Indy Jones on this double/triple agent thing?? The Doctor uses the transmat beam to erm..beam her & Harry down to Voga, this supposedly rids Sarah of the deadly venom. Somebody call the exterminators for that little tin rat! No, not you, Daleks!
The whinging Cyberleader (having lost his bout with The Doctor) forces The Doctor, Commander Stevenson, & Lester to become suicide bombers at Vogas surface. Harry is a gold thief & gets himself & Sarah captured by Vorus, fortunately they're recaptured by Tyrum. The Doctor & Stevenson are freed of their shackles by Lesters ultimate sacrifice, & surprise, so does Kellman to save Harry from a rock fall. Vorus is obsessed with his toy rocket which costs him. The Cybermen get to meet the.......(insert Super Car ,Thunderbirds theme ) Skystricker ta-da! & The Doctor, Sarah, & Harry are reunited with the TARDIS. The Brigadier has sent a space-time telegram from the era of Season 13, spot of trouble with Zygons! Now "phew!" GET ON WITH THIS ALREADY?!
Fools, just chuck your gold watch at the Cybbies!
Despite the amateur critique within me, I find this quite a fun watch! Not so happy with the vorus rocket actually being on loan from NASA. I mean, in the previous story Genesis Of The Daleks, we got amazingly realised footage & lift-off of the Thal rocket! Voga the "famed planet of gold" looks a kebab stand from the view screen of a hurtling Nerva Beacon. Look out for Galifreyan symbols on Voga! This was filmed at the haunted Wookey Hole caves which gives Voga a sense of realism. The filming was allegedly cursed with many an accident including Lis Sladen being rescued from almost drowning by stuntman Terry Walsh. Tom Baker is finally in his own in his first Season, bonkers in all his glory! This story ends the unnamed story arc that was Season 12, The Lack Of TARDIS Arc? The Ark Arc? Joan Of Ark? I'll get my hat & scarf..
What's wrong with the last image? Historically, this was the first story to be released on VHS in 1983, probably riding upon the success of the recent Earthshock. Love the classic BBC logo from that early period & it's fab synth theme, reminds me of the very show it was presenting. To me my Doctor Who video cassettes are like gem stones! My gem stones! Gold? I can't play them anymore but that doesn't matter, they are my treasures! Besides, a lot of them are autographed! Guess what story got released last, more than 20 years later? Invasion Of The Dinosaurs (1974) sigh!
Blog/review blag over. Let the renaissance albeit it, temporarily, begin.
As usual no copyright infringement, blah, Sideshow Bob you're under arrest, blah-blah-blah.
Borgduck aka Stewart,