Doctor Who The Krotons (1968)
This Robert Holmes tale begins with The Doctor, Jamie, & Zoe landing on the planet of the Gonds (sounds like the name of a French Psychedelic group). The Doctor & Zoe both note the Aztec-like structures & paradoxically, an alien machine amongst them, the Dinotrope. This not-so wonderful machine is the university of the Gonds. Once you go in you don't come out except as washing powder. The Doctor, Jamie, & Zoe witness this fact from the forbidden, great outdoors.
STOOOOOOP! Sorry, couldn't resist. This Season 6 story gets a lot of bad press from my Whovian brethren, & yet, I can't, shan't, I wont type a bad word against this. It's a Wintry, childhood window (It was a repeat, from before my time, honestly!) into groovy, happening 60's Dr Who in all it's monochrome, atmospheric glory! So you can't make me, no I won't! Sobs!
Besides, if you want an objective blog get trialed by a Timelord! The Krotons have not been seen since they crashed there some 1000 years ago but the Gonds have this nice little ceremony (very festive) in which the brightest of their male & female students are "rewarded" with the graduation of...death! The (gee-whizz) lucky graduates get to go into the magical mystery tour of The Krotons machine, it must be one heck of a ride cause they don't come out! See? Very creepy so there!
I like this concept. The krotons could've wiped out the entire Gond race when they first arrived. But in their....."benevolence" decided that a "zogon" male & female that passes their exams receive the highest honour of getting their brains sucked out & once out of the butt end of machine happily disintegrated. This tradition has already become the norm for the Gonds, though they know not the end result. They just disappear at some far out academy, man. Jamie gets to kick some Gond butt in one to one combat, the Highlander that he is! There can be only one!
We get to see the TARDIS self-defence mechanism in action, HAL (not that psycho computer from 2001 - A Space Odyssey). One of the Krotons fails to destroy it, though why they wouldn't want to capture it as they're so obsessed with assimilating knowledge is beyond this blog/reviewer.
As for the Gonds themselves the main characters comprise of Selris the leader, his rebel son Thara & his "mate" Vana who was to be the second passing student to become sherbert, as part of her graduating class until, The Doctor saves her............with a brolly, pure genius! You couldn't make this stuff up, oh wait! Beta is the scientist who must have dropped out to survive the Dinotrope, that's the name of their fab Uni by the way. But, wait for a moment whilst I roll out the red carpet. Our special guest, tonight & Doctor Who regular, will you welcome, please, it's one of those special guest actor moments ala Pamela Salem, etc, is none other than Philip "Your name vill also go ze list" Madoc as Gond villain (that rhymes with something) Eelek. I will, of course, compose myself with the utmost dignity.
Anyway, The Krotons nuked the planet & the Gond "sheep" we see are the ancestors. Thara doesn't wanna play ball probably because his other-half Vana is about to vanish in the Dinotrope with another guy. Male jealousy at it's worst I guess, he's full of Mod testosterone?
Why do the krotons forbid everything? Does it make them feel special in some way? & Why do they speak with a 'South Afrikkaan' accent?! Were they playing Kroton Apartheid with the Gonds? & they have their own slang for the brightest sucke, (oops!)...students, "High Brains". Gotta admire the thought put into Kroton culture. As far as Beta is concerned they live "Self-perpetuating slavery!". Knowledge is mere scraps on the table's of the survivors.
Quit the audition, already! Yes, I know, barf bag! Emma & Steed?
I LOVE the way Zoe & The Doctor get themselves "captured", in the belly of the beast. That's the Dinotrope by the way. Alright, lame metaphor! Run for the hills, call the Feds! Can we get on with my favourite scene?! Drop dead gorgeous Zoe Heriots ego gets the better of her. Her irresistible urge (among other irresistible traits) to play the alien computers exams despite the threat lead to a genius confrontation leading to an equally genius contest between the two when The Doctor himself takes the computer exams to stay with Zoe.
She almost cries at one point & despite being smug at her results (better than any Gond to date, that'll change within a minute!) gets all defensive when The Doctors results are superior! Let's face it, their results are an all you can eat buffet to the krotons. Jamie, on the other hand, is less palatable, when he rushes in after them. To quote Zoe, "Jamie's mind isn't trained!", well gee-whizz, give the guy a break, he is from 1745!
Okay, I confess! I find the brain-drain torture scene exciting to watch just as much for Zoe's legs as for the scene itself & no, I'm not a masochist! Jamie's reaction to waking up when captured is hilarious. The Doctors solution to defeating the metal baddies is erm.... a solution (literally!), give them a bad case of acid-indigestion! Did I forget to type genius(?)
Zoe online reading this! Docs online casino fail insert zz-top song
I love this one in spite of its reputation, Doctor 2 & Jamie Robert mcCrimmon of the clan mcCrimmon have a double-comedy act throughout their time on this show which is tragically forgotten by casual viewers & maybe some Whovians alike. Zoe blends into this double-act with ease in this, her one Season, from the very start in Wheel In Space (1968). I have a personal (yes.) bias for wendy padbury who played zoe. Its not every day you meet a demi-goddess who gives you hugs amidst a mega-weekend long, sci-fi convention, featuring hundreds of stars, directors, alien invaders, etc. I, a mere insect, in the arms of a goddess! Philip Madoc returns at the end of Season 6, in the magnum opus, war games.
Whether, or not, the robotic meanies of this one is a plagiarised, figment of some Blue Peter kids imagination is irrelevant. All that is required of the viewer is to put this on, grab a tea, coffee, goblet of toxic venom, (whatever's your poison!), switch off the lights, A+ enjoy!
Be Safe!
Stewart alias Borgduck,
Kommentarer